By Dr. Femke E. Bakker

How you close your day matters, because what you fall asleep with is often what you wake up with.

Many of us go to bed replaying our to-do lists, unfinished conversations, or regrets from the day, worries about tomorrow and beyond. This keeps the nervous system on high alert, making it harder to fall asleep. Even more, when you fall asleep with an active mind focused on problems that need solving, it is quite likely that as soon as you wake up you’ll pick up where you left off last night.

The secret of sleeping is that it can serve you as a reset from all problems. When you sleep, you replenish not only your energy and body, you also have the opportunity to replenish your thought processes. Simply because when you sleep, you don’t think. And when you don’t think, you can’t feed your thoughts with more worries and troubling ideas. And thus, when you wake up, you’ll have a very serious chance to start thinking things that will make you feel better.

Key to get to this point is to close off your day without worries. You can try this for yourself.

Try this gentle evening practice tonight:

1. Lie down in bed, ready to sleep (lights off, eyes closed).

Place a hand on your heart. Take a slow breath, breathe out even slower. When you notice a thought, gently say:

“Today is behind me. I allow myself to rest.”

Continue for a minute (or two). If it helps, you can count every breath in and out up to ten and start over.

2. Think of three small things you’re grateful for.

A smile by a stranger, the smell of a flower, the softness of your blanket.
Be aware how gratefulness feels in your body. Let it exist there.
Can you expand it to other parts of your body? Be with this feeling for a bit.

3. Set a simple intention:

“Tomorrow is a new day. Everything is possible again tomorrow.”

Try this tonight before you fall asleep. Don’t expect miracles. If you feel even the slightest shift of relief or relaxation, that’s it. You did that.

Want to bring more selfgentleness into your day?

If this evening practice speaks to you, I created a free guide that will help you carry this gentleness into the rest of your day.

The Selfgentleness Starter Guide + Meditation

Inside, you’ll receive:

• A printable PDF with the 3-step process (Tune In – Acknowledge – Honor)
• A private audio you can use anytime you need support to tune in
• A simple, powerful way to start showing up for yourself

Click here to get it for free →

Be selfgentle,
All love, Femke

P.S. Also check out my post about a selfgentle morning practice. How you end your day shapes how you begin the next. And when you fall asleep with this kind of presence, you set yourself up for an even better morning tomorrow.