You’ve Done the Work. What If It Could Be Easy Now?
You’ve read the books. Tried the step-by-step plans. Made the changes. Maybe even gone to therapy. You pushed yourself to grow, and much of it helped. You’ve come far. But lately, you catch yourself wondering: “When will I be done? When will life become easier… for good?”
That’s where Selfgentleness™ begins. Not as one more habit to master, but as a softer, steadier way to care for yourself. The kind that lasts.
“Radically accepting yourself as the most important person to consistently deserve your own gentleness.”
What is Selfgentleness?
You’re Closer Than You Think, Let Me
Help You Get There
You don’t need more motivation, more discipline, or more hard work. You need a way to have your own back—especially when things feel hard. When old patterns show up.
Selfgentleness helps you notice what’s really going on underneath the pressure and expectations… and reminds you that you deserve your own gentleness.
It’s already in you.
I’ll help you trust it.
What we do
Be Gentle With Yourself
Trust Your Needs
Choose Ease
You First
Feel More Joy
meet dr. Femke.Bakker
Hello, I'm Femke
Behavioral scientist & Selfgentleness Teacher. I’m a guide, not a guru. You don’t need me — and that’s the point.
I created Selfgentleness to help break the cycle of over-efforting and self-fixing. It’s the practice of radically accepting yourself as the most important person to consistently deserve your own gentleness.
So you can live with more ease — not just when life is calm, but especially when it’s not.
selfgentleness academy
Find Ease. Be
Selfgentle.
This is your soft space. Inside the Academy, you’ll find me and a global community of selfgentleness seekers. Together, we explore what it means to live selfgently — through live coaching calls, seasonal themes, and a growing library of practices. More clarity. More joy. More you.
"I had never heard the term ‘selfgentle,’ and now I think of it daily."
— Maria
from the selfgentleness community
