By Dr. Femke E. Bakker

We’re taught to downplay our imagination. To see it as a distraction from the real work. That we have to “get back to reality.” To be productive, practical, strategic.

But what if imagination is one of the most grounded tools we have?

In a world that rewards us for being realistic and rational, it’s easy to forget that almost everything around us: the way we communicate, the shape of a chair, the layout of cities, the rhythms of daily life. They all first came from someone’s imagination. A flicker of an idea, followed by the question: what if this could be real?

Imagination is not the opposite of action. It’s what makes intentional action possible.

Rewiring What We Expect to See

One of the things I often say is that our brain is always trying to confirm what it already believes to be true. Not because it’s out to get us, but because it needs some filtering system. Every day, we’re flooded with data: sounds, images, sensations, experiences, and the brain narrows in on what it thinks is relevant.

So when we repeatedly imagine something – especially when we do it with openness and selfgentleness – we begin to stretch that filter. We teach our brain to see new cues. To stop scanning for danger or disappointment and instead start noticing possibility.

A small example: you decide you want to see yellow cars. Not because it’s important, but just as a test. Suddenly, there they are. Not because there are more of them, but because you trained your attention to notice them.

Now imagine applying that same principle to things that do matter to you. A moment of gentleness. A meaningful connection. A creative opportunity. Your brain will do what you ask it to, if you’re kind and consistent with your asking.

Manifesting Without the Pressure

I know the word manifestation can feel either too mystical or too performative. That’s not what I’m talking about.

To me, manifesting is just allowing yourself to imagine what feels good, what feels right, and being open to seeing it show up in real ways. Slowly. Imperfectly. But truly.

You don’t have to force it. In fact, the more pressure we place on imagination to become “results,” the more we clog the channel. That quiet inner space where new visions arise isn’t built for deadlines or performance reviews.

Instead, let it be light. Let it be curious. Let it surprise you.

But What If Doubt Shows Up?

It will. That’s part of it. Doubt is not a sign that something is wrong. It’s a sign that you’re stepping into new territory.

The trick is not to fight doubt, but to respond with selfgentleness. To notice it, and gently come back to the feeling of what if?

Sometimes, instead of asking how do I make this happen?, we can simply ask, how would it feel if this were already happening?

That one question opens up a whole inner world. A shift in mood. A softening of resistance. And that changes how we act, how we notice, how we meet the world.

Selfgentleness Is the Real Magic

If I had to name the common thread in everything I teach, it would be this: imagination + selfgentleness = real change.

Without selfgentleness, imagination turns into pressure. Into another way to judge ourselves for not being “there” yet.

With selfgentleness, it becomes a playground. A mirror. A compass.

So, if you’re trying to bring something into your life (an experience, a feeling, a change) start small. Start with something you believe could be possible. Let your mind play with it. Let your body feel into it. Just let yourself feel the joy of it already being true, even for a few seconds.

That’s how you rewire your inner landscape. How you change what your brain believes is possible. And how you start to recognize the signals that it’s already on its way.

And maybe most importantly: that’s how you start remembering that you’re allowed to want what you want. Not from entitlement or escape. But from connection. From quiet. From love.

If this stirred something in you… an idea, a longing, a happy “yes”… you’re not alone.

You can begin tending that spark today with a simple selfgentle practice.

I made a free Selfgentleness Starter Guide that explains step-by-step how to tune in. It comes with a link to a 10-minute audio to help you tune in. To what’s already here, and what wants to come next.

You can download it for free here.

Be selfgentle,

All love, Femke