From my letters · 16 December 2025

Last weeks, I’ve been so very aware that I have to practice what I teach, dear friend. With my shoulder problems ongoing (I had an operation on my left one yesterday, reason why I’m one day late with my newsletter) I have to consciously listen and take care of my body. To take the messages it gives seriously, slow down and rest & relax more than usually. 

I’m so happy to be a part of my membership Selfgentleness Academy, where this month we focus on Body Love. Yes, I teach selfgentleness but I am just as well together with everyone in my membership! Together we grow 🙂

When I prepared this monthly theme already back in September (writing and designing this beautiful Guide with workbook practices in it like I do every month, and curating videos and audios to accompany the Guide) that I thought: December will be a good moment for me to focus on some Body Love. Expecting that I would get back to those old conditioned challenges around Body Image that are returning like eb and flow in my mind (see my Blog about it here). And here I am, one shoulder frozen, the other still sore and stiff from yesterday’s procedure. Reason to tune in and send some extra love to my shoulders. Asking them what they need (rest and slow movement).

And let me assure you: it feels so good to do this. To look up the practices that I created and brought together, to pick and choose and then experience how not just my shoulders but my whole being benefits from this awareness and rest. So, let me share you two practices that I love to do these days:

Body as Nature

Lie down, close your eyes and imagine your body as a landscape. Are you a mountain, a river, the ocean? Let the image tell you something about how your body feels today.

(your subconsciousness will message you through your imagination)

Gentle Self-Hold

Wrap your arms around yourself. Close your eyes and just breathe for half a minute or so, until you feel the breath calms down. Imagine you’re cradling yourself with kindness (if you find that hard, just imagine the kindness as a beam of nicely colored light). If you like you can rock yourself or caress yourself. Sit for a few minutes and notice how your body responds.

(your body produces oxytocin because of this self-touch!)

Try them out and let me know how it was!

Tips to watch

Lately, we’ve been rewatching an oldie which was stopped way too quick with barely 3 seasons (in my opinion): The Newsroom. If you have ever seen The West Wing and liked it, you might like this one too. As a political psychologist, I really like how they show the role media could (and should) play in a democracy. And even though the series is well over a decade old, many topics seem to be even more relevant than today.

Newsletter

I hope you enjoy my weekly newsletters. I started it a few weeks ago and I have to say, it’s really fun to do. I just sit down and share with you what’s on my mind right now. All things selfgentle (or how to return there). (little secret: it’s how I’m preparing to write my book about selfgentleness, more on that soon. Let me know if there is anything you would love to read in there, that would be awesome to hear from you.

Anyways, I hope you also enjoy my little stories. Let’s do this again next week!

All love, Femke 

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