From my letters · 23 December 2025  

Hey dear friend,

How are you feeling about the coming holidays? Do you know what you do and don’t want? Have you planned to guest to host or to not have all that fuzz? It’s funny how we, as a society – at least in the West, have created a bunch of expectation surrounding the big holidays. 

As a kid, after my parents divorced (and me and my sister stayed with my father) we didn’t really celebrated Christmas. My father, who became an adult in the 60s and always remained bit of a flower-power kid, liked to push against everything he saw as ‘bourgeois’ (as he liked to call it – ‘burgerlijk’ in Dutch in case you know how to read it). So, no Christmas for him. Or… if we pushed it: not in the traditional way, just a plain and simple sauerkraut stew on the table (not even fries?! would I say!). My sister and me had to plea and convince him with really sound arguments to get a pine tree in the house. In the end we always got one, but only one we could replant in the orchard (we lived at an old farm). When he died (he was 48, and I was 20) we had quite some pine trees in the orchard when we sold the house!

I guess it has primed me to have a different take on the holidays. For many years, I didn’t get a tree. Ordered pizza with friends. Even when my kids were born, we didn’t make a big deal out of it. But then my grandmother from my mother’s side died. Someone who has been crucial in my upbringing. My nana was a lovely and kind (and rather unique) tiny woman with lots of fantasy. Even though she was secular, she loved X-mas and filled her house every year with candles, bells and whistles, lots of mistletoe and American Santa songs.  Santa fitted right into her fabulous stories and she taught me all those songs, while playing the music on the piano or harpsicord. Because I missed her so much, I felt the need to bring her X-massy house alive in my own.

A new tradition was born. My kids – now both adult – are also secular but love X-mas. few years ago, I tried once to not have a tree, but the then teenagers pulled me to the store to get one. These days, they are satisfied with a small one (they do tease me about it, btw!). Last week, I bought a tiny one, but I find it very cute and it reminds me of my nana. Take a look 🙂

And we do eat some good food. Not a 7 course dinner, but I do love to cook a nice meal. Have a lovely glass of wine. And my favorite people at the table. 

Tips to watch

What we also love to do is see some X-mas movies. It’s never easy to make a list, but here is a list of movies I love to rewatch, especially during the holiday season. In no particular order:  

• Polar Express
• Love actually
• It’s a wonderful life
• The Grinch
• The Holdovers
• The Holiday
• The Family man

What’s your favorite X-mas movie?

Good news

Thank you so much for all your kind messages after reading my shoulder stories. The operation on the left did it’s job, at least so far so good, and right is feeling a bit gentler, hopefully it will start tawing soon. 

I also hope you like my newsletter, I know I am enjoying creating them. 🙂 

Let’s do this again next week!

All love, Femke 

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